Life is unfair. Despite supreme efforts, sometimes you don’t get what you want. Believe me when I say I’ve spent a life in pursuit of self-fulfillment and I continually fall short. I have a love/hate relationship with this quest of mine. My love stems from my intensity.  My focus to take care of business in achieving a goal is incredible.  Determination and staying-power have always been strong suits for me. Goal setting for opportunities both social and professional at the apex is un-daunting; I’m wired to swing for the fences. Why do I hate it? I continually put myself in positions to fail despite my best efforts. It isn’t always enough and that sucks but I’m learning to be better with failure.

As a kid in 6^th grade, I convinced myself I was going to the NFL.  The path I laid out made so much sense.  I remember having conversations telling my dad how easy it was.  Phase one was to put in the work and dominate the high school level for a full ride at a D1 school (That never happened). I found myself fifteen minutes down the road at community college close to home in Virginia. My community college didn’t have a football team or any team for that matter.  I hated myself for being there.  I envisioned everyone else in my graduating high school class out of the house at bigger schools. They were living their dreams while I was still at home getting yelled at for leaving my clothes in the washer.

Fast forward towards fall 2017, I had an opportunity for a position in my field I was a prime candidate for.  It required sacrificing a lot of my free time while demanding extreme physical and mental preparation.  I pulled myself from college courses(this was kind of a plus), gave up leadership opportunities at work, and totally shunned myself from anything I saw to be a distraction to boost my chance at selection.

I arrived at the course beyond ready. I’ve never been in better shape, mindset was on point and literally the last thing I had quit in my lifetime was playing saxophone in the high school band. I was going to die out there if necessary.  It started with about 60 candidates.  As the demands increased, I looked around to see more of the others withdrawing, getting hurt or being told to go home due to substandard performance.  Days continued to get longer, I held tightly to my experience in combat overseas to keep me resilient to the physical punishment. Myself and the others left were literally subjecting ourselves to torture.

Upon completion, a fraction of those that started remained. I got dressed up and waited to be called for a “more traditional” interview on the last day. I remember walking into a room where four of my potential bosses were already situated and coming to a consensus of where I stood among those left.  I receive some words I was pretty familiar with. “Thank you but no thanks.” I wanted to fight everyone in that damn room.  I held back the tears till I was released and drunk myself into an oblivion at the airport that day on my way home. I couldn’t believe it was ending like this.

I thought about some of the other dudes I imagined getting the nod at selection and instantly projected my performance against theirs.  To be completely objective, I was easily the strongest in attendance without question.  My speed and ability to move with a heavy pack was in 90^th percentile of candidates present.  I did lack somewhat in the more technical challenges presented. I also wasn’t as vocal as I’d normally be during the opportunities to team up with others. I still feel like I was overlooked.

Fuck em’

Situations like this remind me why I believe in business and living on my own terms. Why I believed in taking the leap with this site. An opportunity to just be myself and speak my truth. I’m in charge.. Shot calling!

I love this and have no idea what I’m doing.

-Solo

Kinetic or Not

Racism

It’s alive and well in America.  We’ve come a long way with legislation but the real battle continues between the ears of citizens. It’s been just over 50 years since Jim Crow laws were abolished here in the States.

Recently H&M, a Swedish clothing line came out with an ad featuring an African American boy wearing a “coolest monkey in the jungle” hoodie.  Could it be ignorance that the company was unaware of the negative connotations between the word monkey and a person of color?

Where were the kid’s guardians?

Was the check worth it?

My jeans are from Levis and I’ve got some shirts from Express and Zara that I like and fit me pretty well. If any of these brands came out with a racially charged statement tomorrow, I wouldn’t think twice to discontinue my spending at their establishments. Some people “need” every pair of Nike Air Maxes.  I pledge zero loyalty to any brand outside of my own.

What do you Expect in 2018?

Nothing from anyone!!

Well… Maybe from my mom.  She is the only one that could really get into my head if she wanted.  My love, respect and admiration for her drives me in doing things I wouldn’t otherwise (college being one which comes to mind!).  Her power over me naturally stems from her years of excellence as my primary caregiver.  I should be thankful she doesn’t flex it more than she does!

Think about the influences in your life. How many have control over you?  How many have you given “the remote” to your mind?  Many strangely give this power to brands, random people on social media and other complete strangers.

We do have some great people in the world though am I right (shout out to the awesome moms out there!)? I’ve got family, mentors and friends I look to for their example who expect nothing in return. I’m doing my best to be a great friend and mentor to those who see me as such.  I believe in karma.  Goodness comes full circle and blesses us in ways we may not have thought possible.

-Solo

Kinetic or Not

Janet Jackson is arguably the biggest sex icon of all time. She had a similar theme with much of her music; sensual passion and understanding. There were timeless hits from her during the 80s through the 2000s.

I’ll never forget attending her velvet rope tour with my dad when I was younger at the MCI Center (renamed later to the Verizon Center) in D.C.  Originally, we were looking to get wrestling tickets!  I had no idea what prompted the cashier to ask if we were JJ fans but he was adamant about how great the seats were for her concert coming to town in a few weeks. I looked up at my pops and shrugged. We pulled the trigger.

To this day that is still the best show I’ve ever been to. My hormones were on full tilt the entire show.  She had this act where she literally stripped for the entire audience. I remember her pacing left and right across the stage looking out into the crowd. After a few moments, she points to some random guy and prompts security to help him get on stage. The security then straps the dude down so he couldn’t move. The luckiest dude in the room then proceeded to receive a (less than private) dance from JJ herself and two backup dancers who were equally as beautiful.

Confidence is key! Personally, it’s hard for me to be cool with others who don’t know what they want. Have you ever had a conversation with someone who didn’t have any definitive stances on anything? It’s frustrating.

Want to improve communication with others? Tell them what you want. Convey what you mean and be clear. I’ve written out some examples that may resonate with a majority of the audience. Please see the following.

*Caveat* I assigned no gender roles / I understand that not every interaction is as binary as the below examples:

 

Ex A. Person 1: “What’s good my dude you heard that new Gucci gang? You going to get that Pump album?“

Person 2: “Nah dude. Pump is trash. His lyrics are retarded.”

(Clear stance on Lil Pump. Person 2 thinks he’s garbage.)

 

Ex B. Person 1: “Hey babe what do you want to eat?”

Person 2: “Ummmm.. How about tacos?”

Person 1: “ We just had that yesterday”

Person 2:  “Well ok, what do you want?

Person 1:  “ Want to hit Wing Stop and split a 20 piece?”

Person 2: “Sure.”

(They both go to Wing Stop in mutual agreement)

 

Ex C. Person 1: “What’s going on? Hey real quick… I think you are beautiful. We should go out some time”

Person 2: “Eww get away. Not interested”

(Person 1 departs to engage someone else of interest)

 

Ex D. Person 1: “Honey do you like this on me?”

Person 2: (Use some caution here) “ You know what I love better on you? (There you go!!!) That floral romper you got!”

(Person 2 was able to communicate what they actually liked)

While I was on the way to meet up with some of my friends in downtown Waikiki, JJ’s Rope Burn track hit my speakers. If you listen closely, her lyrics dictate exactly what she wants from her partner. She confirms how everything feels. She asks clear and concise questions as to how she can please in return.

Listen to my girl JJ’s track here (Explicit Content)

I believe the world would be so much better if we were all confident communicators don’t you agree? Let me know what you think!

Happy New Year

 

-Solo

Kinetic or Not

This is something I personally always aspired to do so I’m doing it!  It’s amazing how entering a new year can propel us as people to finally take that leap of faith.  The sad reality is most seldom keep their New Years resolutions but I do love the excess of positive energy entering the new year.

I aim to bring value to the world. With my life currently as a single 30 year old in the military, sharing my truths and actions along my path will be my vehicle.

Have a great start to your new year

-Solo

Kinetic or Not